i'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets.

represent XXX

2005-05-04T04:02:27Z

so pretty much, today has been uber fucking lame.

first, i didn't do anything in any of my classes. fun kinda, but oh so fucking boring.

second, i was trying to look for a fucking a7x belt buckle for michael, cause i gotta get him one, and i couldn't find one ANYWHERE!! so LAMMEEE

third, i just have something to say, in general. even though this is aimed at 2 certain people.
don't fucking represent something and completely contradict it after. you both said you were fucking edge, and if you are, stay edge, don't switch back and fourth from time to time because you feel like it. edge isn't something you fuck with. you both are so fucking lucky this isn't the east, because over there, you'd get fucking beat to death. that's right. beat to death. i read up on my straight edge stuff. i know about it. that's why i represent it. i'm not some fake bitch who likes it for the title or to sport around the X's. if you're going to go smoke or drink or whatever, go for it. more power to you, but don't represent edge, and just all of a sudden do it, and say, oh well i guess things change. because i bet in a month or even a few weeks, you're going to come back to edge and be like oh it was a mistake. i understand you might want to stay true to the edge and not do it anymore, but after the 2nd or 3rd time of doing it, it gets old and it just makes you look like a fucking idiot. face it. you're not edge. at least other people are, i don't know, brave enough? to at least say that they aren't edge. stop being fake and get a clue. you're not edge, and you never will be again. stop being lame and fake.

i had kinda a shitty weekend last weekend, even though it should have been one of the best ones of my life. sunday was the best days of them all.

friday was dodgeball, it was cool, but it got kinda boring. michael couldn't come into the dance with me to keep me company. i was sad.
saturday was michael's and my 6 month anniversary. i hella wanted to do something with him, but his mom was being a fucking bitch, and she didn't let us hang out...but she let us hang out on sunday? i don't get it.
sunday i went to michael's and hung out with him and all that jazz. we went for a walk and crap for like, 2 hours, and we hella talked. i fucking love that kid to deaatthhhhhhhhh.

so that's pretty much it. i guess my weekend wasn't that bad. haha. but still. i hella wanted to see michael saturday.

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

oh yeah! i made ASB! woo!!!
=D

<3
-Amanda

years

2005-03-19T18:36:29Z

its been years since i updated.

so hello.

i<3 my boyfriend. and my sister. and dad.

so yeah that's basically it.

oh and i <3 you. =D

(can you stop the fire?
can you stand to fight her
you can't stop the fire
you won't say the words)

Please, please forgive me
But I won’t be home again
Maybe someday you’ll look up
And barely concious you'll say to no one
Isn't something missing?

You won’t cry for my absence I know
You forgot me long ago
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so in significant?
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?

Even though I'm the sacrifice
You won’t try for me not now
Though I’d die to know you love me
I’m all alone
Isn’t someone missing me?

(can you stop the fire?
can you stand to fight her
you can't stop the fire
you won't say the words)

Please, please forgive me
But I won’t be home again
I know what you do to yourself
I breathe deep and cry out
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?

Even though I'm the sacrifice
You won’t try for me not now
Though I’d die to know you love me
I’m all alone
Isn’t someone missing me?

And if I bleed
I’ll bleed
Knowing you don’t care
And if I sleep
Just to dream of you
I’ll wake without you there

Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t something?
Even though I'm the sacrifice
You won’t try for me not now
Though I’d die to know you love me
I’m all alone
Isn’t something missing?
Isn’t someone missing me?

(can you stop the fire?
can you stand to fight her?
you can't stop the fire
you won't say the words)

UHH an update. hhehe

2004-11-21T19:00:17Z

So, I never update, so let me post a few things that are in my xanga.

First, I have a boyfriend now...hehe....His name is Michael. <33

The the elections....

So, Canada, here I come.

Not really, but in case you didn't know yet, Bush won. Who doens't know. The whole world knows it, and according to Mr. Montes, the world thinks we are a bunch of idiots. "Oh no. Not another four years." Yeah exactly.

It just makes me think, how is half the world feeling right now that the president that they wanted out is left in there. 48% of the population wanted Kerry. That's a lot of people, but really, how do you think America feels right now. It's sad to think that people are actually moving to Canada because of what has been decided. When you know that you American citizens are fleeing to Canada because they don't like the president.

EARTH TO BUSH - AMERICA HATES YOU.

Fuck your ideas on banning gay marriage and anti abortion. Fuck you for trying to make decisions for us women.

More later - I'm mad.

-Amanda

Haha Yes I was really mad.... heres another one, but not on the elections...

yeah you watch this you mother fuckers
Current mood: nauseated

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/video.asp?video=mym2002&Player=wm&speed=_med

watch this video and tell me you can still fucking eat meat.

it's shit like this that makes me so mad. just because they are animals doens't mean that they don't feel or have a concience, at that. its shit like this that makes me so angry and want to go vegetarian. Now I think I am going to go vegetarian, but I am going to have to at least eat meat once in a while, but still, this is so fucked up. I just want to go to those fucking slaughter houses, chop off their fucking ears, saw off their limbs, and slit their throats with no fucking pain killers. That's right ass holes, you don't like it do you??

How can people even bring themselves to do such a thing anyways?? I don't get it. Those guys must not even have a heart or something, because I can't even IMAGINE doing shit like that to another living animal.

Okay, so it's wrong to murder someone, but it's okay to raise animals to kill them, to give them pills and make them bloat up so much to the point where they can't walk, then die of heart attacks, shock, and stress. Some of them even die because they can't walk because they are so bloated they legs can't hold their weight, and then they can't get food. That's just the chickens, too.

Watch the video, and even if you believe in Vegan or vegetarian-beliefs and what-not or not, its a good eye opener for what you fucking eat.

</3>

and that was from a blog entry on myspace...

I was really sad. I started crying. hah.

This was a long entry, so I'll just update more later.
<333
-Amanda

more pictures, and an upate

2004-09-06T23:27:30Z

So school started, yay. Not.

heres my schedule.

1st - Chemistry - Cayabayab
2nd - Geometry Honors - Kelly
3rd - AP European Histroy - Humphrey
4th - Spanish 2 - Morgan
5th - English - Vals
6th - Art - Sinclear
7th - AVID - Eastburn

woooooooo

lots of homework! let's hear it for studying!

....

not...haha

heres some pictures me and Ashley took like 2 days ago. I cut her hair. Tell me what you think! hehe

we didn't take that, but I had to put it there. I love Amy Lee.<3

thumbs up motha trucka!

i think they call those, "hair and head"

awww isn't she cute?

mmm you make me wanna lalaaaaaa<3333333

ashley smilleyyy manda eemo

"you know i'm hot. bitchez."

gannnsstaaaaa <3333

okay more later.

-Amanda

look how pretty she is when she falls down, now theres no beauty in bleeding mascara....

2004-08-08T06:48:40Z

here are some pictures of my rad friends.

brett, daniel, and cody. RIP cody. (he didn't really die, he just kinda left one day and we all havne't seen him since.)

hella old skool jenny. 8th grade, bitchez. =)

thats hella me and jenny in 8th grade. hella good days.

thats aaron. the ex boyfriend. *sigh*

ashley 69-ing me. at the teen center. ohh yeah.

me being funny. hahaha

booyysss

allyson!! =)

\
sexy joshER dancing. hahaha

well, I don't know him personally, but he's going to be my future husband. either him or...

alex. from atreyu.

okay more later. i gotta go to bed. =)
<333
-Amanda

stand up fucking tall dont let them see your back and take my fucking hand and never be afraid again

2004-07-28T21:20:04Z

there is this boy.

he likes this one girl.

this one girl thought she liked him, but she doens't....

there is this other boy. who likes this same girl.

she really doens't like him, but doesn't know how to tell him NO.

...shes not good with that word.

there is that boy.

the girl used to like him.

but she really doesn't anymore.

both boys like to make her feel wanted, but just keeps feeling less wanted each time they talk to her.

she doens't want either of them.

but she just can't say no, so she says nothing at all.

if I had to explain it, I wouldn't know where to start.
it's like you're falling in love while i just fall apart.

cute story, eh?

-Amanda

i would drive until the end with you...

2004-07-23T04:36:48Z

new haircut...

hellla emo. hahahaha

there it is. its also on myspace, too. so if you saw it there already, sorrrrry.

-Amanda

i never said i'd lie and wait forever, if i died we'd be together

2004-07-19T03:05:49Z

hey.

i feel better than the last entry.

hella emo shit.

i went camping!!

i got tanned.

and i got a hair cut.

=(

i hella miss my long hair, but this is cute.=)

<333

-Amanda

god damnit

2004-07-12T06:46:26Z

fuck being emo, just fuck it.

I hate it because I always am emo and I don't know any way to fucking stop it.

It's been almost a year since my last boyfriend, and it's just like, I am so lonely.

People tell me I am pretty and shit, but if I was really that pretty, don't you think I would have someone by now...?

and no not some fag like j. No I am dead serious. I wish I could just have someone I want. But we can't always get want we want. So I think I will just stick to being emo, because that's all I ever do, anyways.

-Amanda

angel from my nightmare...

2004-01-27T01:57:00Z

hello there...the angel from my nightmare...

oi. good song.

heres one

I'm so tired of being here
Supressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating mind
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

Yay First entry...

2004-01-26T02:04:00Z

I remember my first entry on xanga. I had no idea how to work it. Now I got a livejournal...feeling the same...:-D I'll learn...

-Amanda